Existing in Transition

Eu Existo: I Exist
Originally uploaded by Blue Dragonfly Girl

There's a dreamlike quality to being here. I'm not really acting like a tourist. In fact, I haven't seen any touristy spots yet. I haven't even walked all the way downtown. Instead, I've wandered around looking for stencils on walls and furtively taken out my camera to snap a quick pictures.

I've explored supermarkets just seeing what's in them, the different fruits (my God the pineapple here is amazing, and the papaya I had yesterday afternoon made me smile with happiness) and vegetables, looking at the spices and the beauty products. I'm meeting all sorts of kind people and doing my best to engage in conversation. Even though - regardless of my allergies -- I'm not always sure how to insert a sentence here and there into the conversation, the small details are sometimes beyond me. I smile broadly and try to understand at the least the meaning behind the words if I don't always understand every individual word.

I think it's all part of a transitional period. It reminds me of first grade. I had been home-schooled for a majority of the year. Then somehow in April, I decided I wanted to go to public school. And so my parents enrolled me. And it was so much fun. All these wonderful people who were interested in me and curious about me and who wanted to sit next to me during story-time. I could sit at whatever table I wanted to during the day. It was a grand adventure, this "school" thing.

And so, after a week or two of this, I was apparently assigned to a table in the classroom. I did not realize this however. I recall being asked by a new friend to sit at her table and I blithely started to comply. Then my teacher sternly informed me that this was not my assigned seat. I was to sit over there. And in that moment I realized that this was no longer a game. This whole school thing was "serious business" and that I could no longer be an observer, participating just when I felt like it.

I think I'm in a similar spot. Luckily, it feels as pleasant as it did in the first grade. I don't feel anxious about where I'll be living for the entire four months (not yet anyway), though I do look forward to truly being able to unpack all my belongings somewhere and settling in, whenever that time comes. I do wonder and try to conceive what my internship will look like, where I'll be exactly, what these children are like, how I'll be able to be of use. But, all this will come, and faster than I imagine, I'll find myself transitioning into a new phase of this adventure.