The Back-in-Texas To Do List

At some point soon, I will actually end this blog...and begin another...It's a bit hard to let go. A voicemail from my former housemate A. on Sunday made me a little sad and full of saudade. Then there are the "scraps" left by Brazilian friends on Orkut (the most popular online social network in Brazil) and the updates from former colleagues. For example, there was some money left-over from the photo project we did with the kids and I donated it to one of the youth programs. They just used some of it to take the youth to the movies. For some of the teenagers, this was their first time seeing a film in the theater. Awesome. Wish I could have been there with them.

However, given that I'm no longer in Brazil, I'm not exactly living in some sort of Brazilian quotidian anymore. Although, this morning when I tried to use my Spanish to offer the Mexican house painter some water with ice, it certainly sounded like I was still lost in the Portuguese language. The guy looked at me with a bemused expression and kept saying, "It's cool, it's cool. Don't worry" as I mourned my inability in Portuguese-heavy Portoñol (or is it Portunhol?) to say things the way I wanted.

So, that's one thing on my Back-in-Texas To Do list: recover my Spanish!

Luckily, I am the type of person who likes to add things to my Back-in-Texas To Do list that are easy to check off that list. So far so good.

#1 Graduate
I checked that off the list about 10 days ago, walked across the stage during two different graduations (the University of Texas Graduate School graduation and the University of Texas School of Social Work graduation), got hooded, got handed pieces of paper saying that they'd mail me my diploma, got pictures taken, enjoyed the hugs and love and attention of family and friends, and felt thoroughly content to be back in Texas.

The two years it took to get my Master's in Science in Social Work were long and hard and fun and full of ridiculous amounts of learning and now, from a distance of a few weeks, seem to have absolutely flown by. I still haven't completely grasped that I'm no longer a student. I get to temporarily be in fun stage called, "Being done" where I still feel somewhat protected from the realities of what that actually means.

#2 Go to the Beach
Luckily, I am not yet able to check this off the list because I'm still here in South Padre Island enjoying a real vacation with my boyfriend. I'm savoring the "Being done" stage, while I am still in it. Biking, swimming, strolling down the sea shore, eating lots of fresh fruit, hanging out with my boyfriend's family that live nearby, reading all the New Yorkers that arrived when I was in Brazil. [Note: This is my second time at the beach this year. The last time was in the beautiful state of Santa Catarina. As gorgeous as it was, I unfortunately came down with pneumonia. This time my plan includes not getting sick. I hope to abide by that.]

Ah, isn't the beach beautiful? Before moving to Texas, I didn't fully grasp that the state has beaches, and living here, I am so grateful that it does.

#3 Begin the Job-Search
This will begin in earnest next week when I'm back in Austin.

The last time I searched for a job, I was fairly indiscriminate. It was March of 2005. I had recently moved to Austin from France, sans either gainful employment or an apartment to call my own. It took about a month, during which I filled out applications for any possible job, ranging from secretarial work to working at Einstein's Bagels. I would have worked about anywhere that would take me, except for perhaps a fast food restaurant. And no, Einstein's Bagels did not call me back for an interview. It appears that my college degree placed me in an odd no-man's land, either overqualified or underqualified for the task at hand. Luckily, an idealistic law firm took a chance on me based on being impressed by my Brown University degree, my ability to speak Spanish (darnit, I've got to get that ability back) and my Nantucket roots, and took me on board. They forever changed my impressions about lawyers, client advocacy and about what my life's work might entail. From there I ended up in Social Work school. From there I ended up in southern Brazil in an amazing internship with youth in conflict with the law.

This time around, the job search feels like a much weightier thing, sure to inspire a few existential crises along the way, as I try to find where I belong. Any hints, tips, suggestions, ideas as to how to go about this process are very welcomed!

And now, back to taking it easy for a few more days...ah, self-care, what a lovely concept that's even better in practice.