Dreaming & Waking

To-Go Garudasana
Originally uploaded by Blue Dragonfly Girl

Last night I had a dream so vivid that it took me a while after waking up to realize that it hadn't actually happened.

I was taking a class with all the young boys that I work with at my internship. Our teacher was the director of the fabulous Street Yoga program. (Last fall, some friends and I had the wonderful experience of participating in a training he put on and got to meet and learn from this great guy).

In my dream he spoke Portuguese fluently and beautifully. The kids were responding well. And it took me about half the class to realize that he was teaching us yoga.

I'm not sure what it had seemed like before, just something else. Something good, no doubt, but just an experience like I'd never had before. It took a long time to realize that what I was doing was already familiar to me.

"This is crow pose," I thought as he brought us into the posture, "This is yoga! And the kids love it! I love it too!"

Afterwards, putting my shoes back on I was filled with excitement about the possibilities of working with these kids.

When I woke up, I felt elated.

Once I got over the fact that it was just a dream, it seemed the message was a strong one. Before Samosa left we were having lots of conversations about my internship. I was anxious and stressed out, primarily because I'd missed so much time being sick. I was worried that I couldn't make all this lost time up, or that I would have to make it up in ways that weren't fulfilling to me, just scrambling to get the hours I needed for my degree. And then what would be the point? I wanted it to mean something. What if it didn't? What would I do? And on and on and on. Samosa did the best he could to comfort me in my spiraling thoughts on the matter. But really since it was all just conjecture on my part, I had to wait until I got healthy again and my pneumonia was gone, before anything at all could be done.

Today was to be my first day back at the internship. Finally!

And it seemed to me -- as I got ready for work this morning -- that this dream was saying that although not everything I'm doing right now seems obvious to me (i.e. doing yoga and not realizing it's yoga), it's all good stuff and it's all beneficial in ways I may not yet be able to appreciate or understand. I just gotta go with it and enjoy the journey. I've got to remember what my professors always said and "Trust the process."

Trust the process. And try and enjoy it too.

It was a good day. 

Park Day

We Are All Without School
Originally uploaded by Blue Dragonfly Girl

Monday (segunda-feira) is the designated "sports" day for the youth group that I get to hang out with.

And so, we went to the park. Armed with those popsicles - the kind that come as heavily-sugared juice in plastic the size of a bookmark that you have to freeze - we all stood at the bus stop waiting for the right city bus. You have to tear them open with your teeth. The first time I tried, bright orange juice went everywhere. But that's just how I roll.

Imagine a line of teenagers all with bright blue or bright red or bright orange popsicles in their mouths waiting patiently and laughing quietly with each other.

We sat in the asphalt at the park, did a little breathing, did a little stretching and then the teenagers got to play as they pleased. A game of soccer began with some of the boys. Those who were wearing just flip-flops took them off and played barefoot. I saw broken glass on the edge of the court. I hoped to God no one was going to step in it.

The girls taught me a game with a volleyball.

It was hot, even in the shade.

One girl walked with me up a hill to the edge of the park to show me the water. We looked across the street towards the shimmering Guaíba. Some insist it's a river, but really, it's a lake. This girl told me earlier that she is 16 and the last time she went to the beach she was 4. And now she was telling me all the places she wants to see in her country and around the world.

Part of me was thinking how it wasn't fair that I so (relatively) easily could travel here. And once here, could so easily travel to places she's never been. And part of me was hopeful just to listening to her. I love to hear people dream out loud, because if you can put words to them, then I think you're one step closer to them, even if you're still a million steps away.